Week 13 Update

Success!!!!!  I'm going to keep this relatively short.  We are running out the door in just moments for a very busy day.

Current weight:  112.1 kg (247.1 lbs)
Total weight loss:  13 kg (28.66 lbs)

I definitely noticed a difference between last week and this week.  I can definitely feel the fill.  I noticed I can eat smaller portions and be satisfied.  I noticed that 1 hr after eating I'm not starving!  So hey, progress!!!

I'm certainly not to my goal weight.  But at least the numbers are moving and in the right direction!!  Woohoo for progress!!!!

Week 12 Update

I'm a slacker! I know!  I had nothing to report last week.  So I just skipped it.



So here's the update for 3 months post op.



1.  I went for my 2nd fill yesterday.  It was a lot less painful this time.  Instead of a doc doing it, it was one of the surgical nurses, and she had no problem getting into the port, and it only felt like a bee sting for a minute.  So I was really pleased!  I was supposed to get my 2nd fill at the end of the month, but after weeks of still not losing, I called and she bumped up the time.  Yesterday while in the office at the hospital she told me that they had to do the fills gradually to keep it from breaking.  And that sometimes it does take a while to lose weight.  But it will come off.



2. My weight as of yesterday at the docs. = 114.6 kg (252.6 lbs)

 So yes I gained weight!!  I blame it on the cheesecake I made for our party 2 weeks ago, and had to eat to get it out of the house!  Now in all fairness I made it with low fat products, dark chocolate, and tried to reduce the sugar some.  AND I ate very very tiny slices.  Thankfully the guests ate about half the cake, and over the next week nick and I finished off the other half.  :)  Hence the gained kilo.  lol.



3.  Since it's been 3 months since surgery I thought I would try checking my measurements and see if that has changed.  Which I suspect it has as I now look "gangsta" in my jeans (in other words they are baggy).  But I haven't lost enough to get into my smaller jeans from before I moved to Sweden.  *sigh* Good things come to those who wait, right?



12 Week Post Op Measurements (measurements are in cm, for inches try click here)

	Original	Current	Difference
Right Arm	41.5	40	1.5
Bust	116	110	6
Waist	106.5	98	8.5
Hips	135	131	4
Right Thigh	76	70	6

Well I'm not extremely pleased with the numbers. I wish the difference was higher. But it's better than nothing right? The good thing is each measurement has gone down, no matter by how much. J

So that's what has been happening over the last 2 weeks more or less. I have a feeling next week I'm going to see a move in the numbers! *crossing fingers*

Week 10 Update

I really need to do more then weekly updates huh?  I'm working on it.  It's been a crazy 2 weeks.  But lets get down to business.

Stats first:
Current Weight:  113.9 kg (251 lbs)
Total Weightloss:  11.5 kg (25 lbs)

Here's what's been different the last 2 weeks.  First after I posted last week we bought some new furniture and I had to help my boyfriend move it.  It was all flat packed (so in boxes), but didn't make it any lighter!!  Our sideboard (aka buffet for dinning room) was listed at 85 kg (187 lb).  So yeah, me and my boyfriend carried it up a flight of stairs.  So not only did I have to lift it, but I had to haul it up some stairs!!  Can you say work out?  Plus I spent 3 days cleaning, vacuuming and mopping.  More work out.  This week has been much of the running around kind of stuff as well.  And I started using a little stepper machine thing my boyfriends mom gave me.  Holy crap am I out of shape!!!  After 5 mins on that thing my legs were burning!!

As far as diet goes, not so good.  I'm eating about 5 or 6 times a day, and I'm getting in the amt of dairy I'm supposed to take in.  But I have been eating rice for lunch and dinner as my carb.  Not so good!!  But that's because we ordered chinese this weekend for my "free day(s)" and well I had left overs.  Also, last weekend I had candy for the first time.  Which I will write about in the next blog.

I did however call my surgical nurse in Nyköping yesterday morning to let her know that I was unhappy with the fact that I still feel hungry a lot of the time, and that I feel like i'm able to eat more then I should.  At that time I hadn't been on the scale yet, so I thought I wasn't losing weight, so I told her that too.  Hahaha.  Ooops.  So she moved up my next fill date from end of Sept to Sept 7.  :)  Here's to hoping next fill does a better job at making me less hungry all the time.

So to lose this weight in spite of any and all bad habits over the last week makes me quite happy.  It's not a 5 lb drop, but hey, at least numbers are moving again...and in the right direction!!

Week 9 Update

Not much to report.  I had my band filled last week, it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.  I still feel hungry after most "meals".  I'm still not really losing weight.  I think what little difference in weight between this week and last is due to sheer loss of sweat!  I have been working my tail off cleaning and moving things around the apartment.  

So on to the update.

Current weight: 114.9 kg (253.3 lb)

Total weight loss: 10.5 kg (23.15 lb)

So I guess it's not too bad for 9 weeks.  But I do feel like I went through that surgery and 6 weeks of hell just to lose like 10 kg.  Which doesn't make me a happy camper.

I guess on the plus side, the doc last week said my goal should be to weigh about 85 kg (187 lb).  So I'm only 30 kg away from that goal.  She says that will give me a BMI of 30.  I personally think my BMI should be around 24.  So I'm probably going to lean more towards a final weight of 65-70 kg.  

Originally my goal was 58 kg (128 lbs).  But the doc said I'll likely never get to that weight and if I did I would probably look rather sickly.  So I'm going to go with like 67 as the final goal.  

My first goal is to be in a size 46 (14 in the US) by Christmas.  Which will hopefully mean somewhere around 90 kg.  

So we shall see how the next few months unfold! 

I blame my mother

I know your likely reading this mom, so please try not to freak out too much.

But I blame my mother for what happened at dinner tonight.  I went out tonight to hang out with my "in-laws" and we ended up at an italian restaurant for dinner.  Thankfully this italian restaurant knows about gluten, so I am always able to eat there.  However, this is the first real restaurant I went to post surgery.  Technically it was time for me to eat my afternoon snack, not dinner.  But you got to improvise ya know?

Well I ordered a salad with parma ham and gorgonzola cheese.  I actually ordered the 1/2 portion.  Which is still quite sizable.  I spent about 40 mins picking away at this thing.  Why did I keep going for so long?  Because my mother drilled it into me I had to clear my plate!!  Yup! I'm sure most of you got the same deal from your parents.  "Can't leave the table till you clear that plate....including those peas!"

So I sat there nibbling away little by little.  I didn't quite eat the whole thing.  I'm sorry, but I failed your lesson, mom.  I gave it a valiant effort though.  Here's the thing though, I was about 1/2-3/4 the way done and could tell I was full.  But I figured give it time, let the little pouch empty out and then finish.  Yup, I know stupid.  But I must clear the plate!

I don't even think this is a conscious thing.  I think it just happens.  It's quite frustrating.  More so when the food tastes delicious (as this one did).  Almost seems like a waste to let such tasty (and expensive) food go to waste.

I'm wondering, as I go through life, how am I going to break myself of this?  I can't always clear the plate.  Especially when dining out.  I can't tell them to fix me a plate of food that is 1dl meat, 1 dl carbs, 1/2 dl veg, and 1/2 dl sauce or extras.  That's just not going to fly.  Lately what I've been doing is putting my food on the small plates we have that are meant for like tea and cookies.  And using the small bowls for snacks instead of dinner bowls.  It makes it a bit easier.  I get the sense of cleaning off my plate as well as eating a full meal, rather then nibbling on tiny portions.

Just not sure what to do about dining out.  I can't stand throwing away perfectly good food.  There are kids starving in Africa ya know!  (I know you heard that one growing up too!)

Week 8 update

Seriously!?!?  Are you freaking kidding me!?!  Anyone want to guess what happened this week?  Nothing!  Didn't lose a single pound.  Nothing in 4 weeks.  Aren't I the happy camper!

So yesterday, I went to Nyköping to visit one of the doctors in the department for my 8 week post op follow up appointment.  I told her about my lack of weight loss, so she agreed I needed my band adjusted and she filled it with 3 ml.  I'm not sure what that is in cc's.  Here's the thing though, it hurt like a son of a b!tch.  I was laying there with my arms over my head, holding the nurses hand (more like crushing it), and fighting the urge to jump off the table and run out.  The woman stuck a big hard thick needle (perhaps slight exaggeration, but whatever that's what it felt like) into my chest without any local anesthetic.  And of course, me being me, she had trouble finding the port.  She didn't have trouble when she was just pushing with her fingers before the needle part.  But once she stuck the needle in, she couldn't find the port.  So she was digging around and poking and again NOTHING TO HELP WITH PAIN.  Maybe I'm a pansy.  I'm extremely used to needles (not a drug addict), but I've had a lot of blood work and iv's over the years, so i'm used to being stuck.  But this was so not fun!  And to think, I get to do it again in 6 weeks.

Here's the funny part (or so my doctor thought), I was in pain and the nurse is like breath because well there is a needle in my chest and i'm terrified to take a breath in.  So i'm trying to breath but all I can manage is like little breaths like what women do in labor.  lol.  And then after about 3 mins of poking and stabbing and awful pain I suddenly drop the F-Bomb.  So what happens?  My doctor starts laughing.  She says something in swedish, and the nurse starts laughing, all while still poking me with a needle....in my chest (in case you haven't been following, my port is in my chest near my sternum).  I'm all kinds of confused, so then my doc explains...."Do people really say that in America?  I thought they only did that tv."  Hahahaha.

So after the torture session and comedy hour was over, she took a gander at my what used to be hole in my side and said it looked good and didn't need to wear bandaging anymore.  Score!  Only took a month and a half to heal!

The final result?  No weight change, and I got my band adjusted.

Food has been eh since.  I can eat, but last night I had trouble and got sick.  Had to just stick to liquids.  But today I was able to eat real food again.  We'll see if the adjustment makes a difference next week.  I don't have my hopes up.

Week 7 Update

Woohooo!!!!!  We have closure!!!  I just got back from the nurse at the vårdcentral.  It was time to change the bandage and remove the butterfly tape.  And not only am I no longer oozing puss, but it actually appears to be closing if not already closed.  Guess all I needed was antibiotics and surgical tape.  The doc at the er last week told me if I had been on antibiotics weeks earlier it probably would have closed already. Hmmm.

Wound as of today August 5.  Pretty much closed!

Now onto the not so wonderful news.  Still not really losing weight.  *sigh* I can't wait to go to the surgeon next week.  I'm hoping he's going to tighten the band.  I'm going to have to make a big stink about it I think.  We'll see.

Stat time!
Current weight: 115.4 kg (254.4)
Total weight loss: 10 kg (20.5 lbs) *This is more or less estimation

I guess this is good news, since the doctor told me I'd likely gain weight once I started eating real food.  And I haven't don't that yet.  But it hardly feels like good news to me.  I find I'm getting worried that I've done this surgery just to lose 10 kg.  Like I'm not really going to lose any more weight from here on out.  And that's disparaging.  I'm hoping if he tightens the band, then maybe i'll start losing again.  It was his hope to fill the band every other month.  So every 8 weeks, I go back to Nyköping and get my band tightened.  So perhaps that's the key to it all.  We shall see.

As far as food has gone.  I have more wonderful news (well, sorta wonderful).  I have successfully eaten rice and pasta!!  Woohoo!!!  I started to get scared for a bit there, from testimonials I had read online, that I wouldn't be able to eat rice again.  Which well would be the end of the world as I know it!!  I even got to eat chinese (beef with pineapple) this past weekend!  No complications!  I haven't found anything I can't eat yet.  But then again I haven't tried steak or whatever.

I gave myself a "free" day this past saturday.  We ordered chinese, and for desert I had about 1dl (slightly less then half a cup) of low fat old fashioned creamy ice cream and 1 little triangle of dark chocolate toblerone.  It was wonderful!!!  I haven't had any of that stuff in like 2 months.  So it was a wonderful little treat.

Well, that's the gist of what's been happening this week.  Tune in next week for my post-surgery doc visit update.  :)

-FXA

Week 6 Update

Well there isn't really much to update on.

Weight: 115.8 kg (255.3 lbs)
Total so far:  10 kg (22.05)

So I haven't really lost anything since last week.  I have done a bit more walking and drinking a lot more water.  But it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference.  I do find I'm hungry and ready to eat at least 45 mins before my next meal time (and I'm currently supposed to eat every 2 hrs).  So I think that's a good sign that all the swelling from surgery has gone away and my band is far too loose.  Thankfully on August 12th I am supposed to go back to the surgeon and hopefully he'll do a fill on my band.

The good news is now that it is week 6, I get to eat real food!  Like whatever I can stomach (literally).  So I managed to nibble on some GF egg pasta earlier this week, and last night *drum roll please* I ate rice!!!  Most of you reading probably think, big deal..it's rice.  If you know me, like really know me, you'd know what a big deal that is for me.  I haven't eaten rice in about 8 weeks now.  And rice is by far my favorite thing in the world to eat.  My dad told me when I was a kid "you are what you eat, and someday you're going to turn into a bowl of rice".  lol  And I've read online that many people after surgery can't eat rice or pasta.  Well I was able to eat both!!  Woohoo!!  That might change in 2 weeks once I get my fill, so this weekend we are so ordering chinese!!!  hehehe

Well that's about it for the weekly update.  :)

Hole Update

Such a catchy title don't you think?

Well, I've had an eventful day!

*** Warning!!  Post contains graphic pictures.  Do not read if you have a weak stomach.***

I went to the dr.'s at my local vårdcentral @ 10 am this morning to talk to the doc about a few things.  While I was there I had her check my oh so sexy wound.  Well she had a look and said oh boy!  Always a good sign when the docs are like shocked.  lol.  Well she said it is now infected and was quite full of puss (come on, you know you think that's hot!).  lol.  So she spent like 15 mins trying to clean everything out of it and pushing around on my belly going "does this hurt?....how about this?"  It was a wonderful way to start the day!

So, she gets it cleaned out takes a look inside (yes inside!) and says "hold on, I need to get a colleague."  The other doc comes in and he takes a gander too, they have a chat in swedish and then he leaves.  Then my doc turns to me and gives me the good news (insert sarcasm).  So I still have a hole in my side, and oh it's now infected so I need antibiotics, and she thinks it would be best to get it closed up with stitches.  She's not sure if she should do it or send me to the ER to have a surgeon look at it and handle it.  She tries calling the hospital and getting ahold of someone with no luck.  So she just sends me over to the hospital with a note from her to help explain things and hopefully speed the process up.  HA!

So I try to figure out a way to get to and from the hospital, discovering everyone is either out of town, busy or working.  So I have to take the bus, no big deal except I was in a bit of pain from all the poking and stabbing around in my side.

I get to the ER at about 12:30 pm and thankfully there was only 2 people in the waiting room.  I register and give my dr.'s note to the registrar, get a cup to pee in (only god knows why) and go back to sitting in the waiting room.

At about 1:15, I get called into a triage room where a nurse says she wants to take blood and blood pressure...all the usual suspects.  So I lay down and stick my arm out and warn the woman that she is better off getting blood from the hand not the arm.  So she tries to do her thing, but is unable.  Why?  Because my body is being uncooperative and my veins decided to play hide and seek.  The whole time she's shaking her head and looks so frustrated.  Then she takes a hail mary jab into my arm and doesn't find the vein.  So she goes to get another nurse.  He tries to find my veins, but ends up looking equally as frustrated and disheartened.  So he starts with my hand.  No luck, so he tries all kinds of things, using an IV needle, pumping up a blood pressure cuff, then loosening it, flushing the vein with etc.  Only after he did the flush thing I noticed that the liquid seemed to all gather in a tube like shape down the top of my hand.  Like it looked funky!  Like I had a bank roll of coins under my skin.  I asked "um, is that normal? is it supposed to do that?"  What do you think his answer was?  "No."  Of course!  Well he kept trying and after about 45 mins he was able to get 2 vials of blood out of me.  Never in my life has it been so difficult for anyone to get blood out of me.  Hahaha.

So then I'm banished back to the waiting room.  Where I sit until 4:15 pm.  Talk about frustrating.  Did I mention I'm supposed to eat every couple hrs and I was supposed to eat lunch at 1, and my snack at like 3-4.  Yup, missed them both.  So I was like starving and getting a headache and majorly grumpy!

When it was time to see the doc I get pulled back into the triage room.  Give her the deets again.  She takes a look and says agrees it's infected, but tells me she won't do stitches at this stage because of risk of infection. Huh? Ok.  So she writes a script for antibiotics, puts some butterfly tape on it as well as a waterproof bandage and sends me home.  So that was a long ass day just to get taped up!

ER doc says I need to go back to the vårdcentral doc on Monday and have it all looked at, cleaned, and redressed again.  It is such a good thing that I live really close to the vårdcentral.  Thankfully it's only like a 7 min walk.  Otherwise I'd be annoyed by the constant back and forth to the docs.  Also a wonderful thing that I have a free health card, so all these visits aren't costing me anything but patience and occasional bus fare.  lol.

Here comes some pics of the beautiful wound I have.  I know these pics aren't the best in the world.  It's hard to take pics of your side with your phone.  lol.  But you get the idea.

Week 5 Update

It's been 5 weeks since surgery and ugh, I'm not overly thrilled with what's happening.  I didn't post the week 4 update because I was extremely busy and stressed last week and didn't really lose much.  Last weeks weight (week 4) was 116.4 kg (256.6 lbs)

Current weight: 115.9 kg (255.5 lbs).
Weight loss to date: 9.7 kg (21.5 lbs).

So as you can see I only lost .5 kg = 1 lb.

Here's the thing, I should have lost more last week since I was still on liquid and I walked and got exercise like every single day.  And yet, it sucks!!!! I have been on the "puree" stage for this past week and honestly haven't been walking that much.  I'm just so tired!!  It's been like 90 + degrees (F) here and there is no AC!!!!  So i've been sweating and roasting to death for like 2 weeks now.  And considering we have sunlight for about 20 hrs a day here at the moment it's kind of hard to escape the sun and heat.  I know, I know...all a bunch of excuses.  blah blah blah whatever!  So I have resigned myself to be better about that.  I am even going to check out a gym down the street from where we live to see about perhaps giving them a go.  They have a pilates class!! I do love me some pilates! :)  But I have to wait until my stomach is all healed.  Since I have a gaping hole in my side and agitated all my incision points a few weeks ago.

Here's the other thing that has me frustrated and concerned! I find I'm hungry now like all the freaking time!!!!  Within like 45 mins of eating (about 45 mins before my next meal) I can feel I'm hungry.  And I've started having meat cravings again.  Thankfully I crave that rather then sugar.  But I'm feeling really unsatisfied when it comes to food.  And it's not a mental thing.  For the first 3 - 3.5 weeks I hated eating what I had to eat and wanted real food, but I never really felt hungry.  Now I feel hungry.  So I think my band might need to be adjusted.  I go back to see the doc in 3 weeks, and hopefully he'll do a fill then.  I'll be damned if I'm going to go through all of this and lose 1 lb a week or worse NOTHING.

So this weeks update...sucks!  I am very unhappy at the moment.  However, I do get to eat stuff other then milk and yogurt!  Yeah!

Hopefully next weeks numbers are better.

-FXA

D’oh! Don’t try this at home kids!

Written on Wednesday July 7, 2010

***Caution!!!! This is a more graphic post including pictures. If you have a weak stomach or are easily grossed out, you should probably not read on!***

Since I've had no internet, I haven't been able to post regularly and I have to write these blogs on MSWord, and then publish later when the internet is all fixed. And I haven't had time to write about what happened last week. So let me fill you in now.

Last Wednesday (June 30^th) I went back to the hospital in Nyköping to get my staples removed. Woohoo right?! Yeah, well staples out and tape on (which was to stay on for 1 week).

Since we moved into our new apartment last week, I have been trying to do a little unpacking here and there. But doc says…no strenuous activity for 6 weeks. Perhaps they should be a bit clearer on what qualifies as strenuous activity. Or perhaps I'm an idiot! Lol.

After getting home from the hospital last Wed, I tried to do some unpacking. And it was like 10 pm at night and I had the brilliant idea to move a box that was holding one of those back massagers (I'm talking a very light and relatively small box). I wanted to put it on the very top shelf in the closet system in my bedroom. (I have floor to ceiling closets and probably like 8-9 ft ceilings). I couldn't reach just by standing on my tippy toes, so I held the box over my head with both arms extended and then jumped and tried to throw the box up onto the top shelf. I know what you're thinking!! She's an idiot! Duh! Well about half a millisecond after doing this I felt horrible pain throughout my abdomen. It felt like I just ripped open all the incision points and not to mention my already funky and slanted placed port (in my chest above my sternum) must have moved and stabbed into my left chest muscle. Oh joy!!!! So I hunched over, hobbled to the bed and tried to lay down while screaming in pain. My boyfriend comes in and is like stunned to see me in so much pain and trying so desperately to find a position that is remotely comfortable to lay in.

We were told before we left the hospital right after surgery that if there were any emergencies or situations to call Nyköping emergency room first and possibly go there rather than our local hospital. As they don't deal with this kind of surgical procedure at our local hospital. So we called the ER in Nyköping, only to be told they had no idea and to call 1177 (which is like the what to do if I stick a pen in my eye hotline number). They advise you on what you should do or where to go. But the answer I've gotten every time I've called is "Well it's up to you if you want to go to the hospital or not". So they have been extremely helpful thus far. Lol. Nyköping is like over an hr drive away and I wasn't sure they could do anything.

My first fear was I just yanked the stomach band and it's like around my esophagus now or something. Then my next thought was, shit I just ripped open the incisions. But I looked down at the tape and I didn't see blood gushing or anything. So I figured the inside part of the incision (like deep down in my belly) likely haven't healed yet and I probably tore them.

So we didn't go to the ER, we decided to wait until morning and call my surgeons nurse at the hospital. She said give it 24 hrs and then if the pain is still an issue come down to the hospital. Well for 2 days after I couldn't really eat so much without feeling horribly nauseous. But I think that was more to do with the pain pills then anything. And after a couple days I was back to eating like normal. Yeah I still had occasional pain inside my belly (especially on the left side). And yeah the tape on the far left incision looked like there was some dried blood on it in the center. But I thought maybe that was normal! Wrong!

Late last night my boyfriend and I decided to take the tape off and give everything a look-see. We did the far left incision pretty much last. I noticed some small amounts of dried blood here and there on the other incisions, but nothing to write home (or I suppose on here) about. When I got to the far left one my boyfriend had to do it because it was a bit too difficult for me. So he starts taking the tape off and is like

From the first dr. visit to see how bad it was

"Ugh, I think we have a problem here. I don't think this one is ready to be removed"

To which my response was "Why? What's wrong."

Then he said "Umm, there's like a hole here."

"Huh?"

So he gets a flashlight and a mirror for me to see properly. And sure enough there is a hole. Not like needle point or pencil point hole. I mean I couldn't stick my finger in it or anything. But yeah, a hole. That isn't supposed to happen. So obviously when I hurt myself last week I did rip open my incision…on the outside. On top of that there's some stuff coming out of it, and it isn't blood. And the area around it is looking a bit red and inflamed. So I'm thinking yippee and infection to boot! So first thing this morning I got up and called my surgeons nurse again. She tells me I need to go to my local vårdcentral (government run doctors office) and have someone look at it, clean it and put proper dressing on it.

I went to the vårdcentral on Wed. Nurse said I didn't have an infection!! Score! But she put some packing gauze or something into the wound, and then more stuff on top, and then a big ole bandaid. And told me I had to come back on Friday to get it all cleaned and redressed again.

2nd visit on Friday

Then on Friday I went and had my wound cleaned again, and this time she put some clear gel on some special sponge like gauze and then a big waterproof bandage on top and told me to come back on Monday.

Well it's Monday (July 12^th) now. I went back again this morning. Went through the same process as Friday, only this time I got her to give me the stuff to take home so I can do this at home, rather than go back to the vårdcentral twice a week to get it fixed. So I'm done going back there unless there is an issue. J Woohoo!!!

Funny side story: You have to give your personnummer whenever you go to the vårdcentral. And I've gone so often in the last week, that as soon as the receptionist saw me this morning she put it into the computer without me telling her. She has my personnummer memorized. Hahahaha. How sad is that?

Yup, so go me! What can I say, I like to keep things interesting! I have to have something to write about on here! Hahaha

-FXA

Dating while banded

While I'm not currently on the dating scene, as I live with my boyfriend of over 2 years, I got to thinking. How does one go on dates when they have been banded or some other wls.

Picture the scenario. You meet a guy in a college classroom, or at a bar or wherever people seem to meet people. It's been say 6 months since your surgery and you're on solid foods, and have already lost let's say 50 lbs. You and the mystery person have a wonderful chat, decide to exchange number. Within the next couple days he calls and asks if you would like to get together for dinner on Friday night. First big decision….would you want your first date with someone new to be someplace involving food where you will quite obviously be restricted with eating. So let's say you decide to go ahead with dinner.

Fast forward to Friday evening and its date night. You're already a basket of nerves as is typical for first dates. Then you get to the restaurant, sit down, look at the menu and oh shit! What are you going to order? And does it come in children's portion, as you can't actually eat a full size portion. Steak is most likely out of the question, can go for some kind of chicken or fish dish, or you could play it extra safe and get salad. Then you have to think," gee, I hope this date doesn't take more than 3 hrs because then I have to eat again." (Or at least that's how my solid food diet goes…should I ever freaking get to that point).

So you decide to order some kind of grilled chicken with veggies and a baked potato dish. You decide against asking if it can be made into a kiddie portion figuring that will only garner more questions and confused looks. During dinner you take tiny bites, chew forever, and take a very long time to eat maybe ¼ of the food that is actually on the plate, and then say "Ah, that was delicious, I'm stuffed." At which point your date looks across the table and see's you have barely touched your food and quite possibly thinks to himself "oh god, it's one of those types that is practically anorexic and is obsessed with not eating too much". Well he'd be half right (at least I know I'm obsessed about what I'm eating since surgery). At this point he might actually say something like "Oh you don't seem very hungry, did you have a meal before our date" or some silly question along those lines. In which case, you can choose to explain why your limited with food intake.

For the sake of this blog, we'll say he silently acknowledged the very small meal you had for dinner, and then decided to not think too much of it. You guys had a great time during dinner, so then he asks if you're in a rush to get home or if you'd like to continue the evening, by moving on to a bar or a movie or some late night option. At which time you are internally jumping for glee that this stud of a man is having a great time and doesn't want the date to end either!! (This is of course based on the assumption that you like him as well and are having a great time).

Off you go to a bar. Where you can't drink too much now! All those empty calories, but hey, it's a special occasion! Live a little!! But you still can't drink too much because you will likely end up getting trashed and trashed on the first date isn't so sexy. So you nurse your first drink. Then nurse your second. Next thing you know….it's meal time again! Crap!! What to do, what do do?? Hmm, well you didn't eat much at dinner, so maybe he won't be surprised if you're hungry again. Any normal person would be after that tiny meal. So you ask the bartender if they serve food. Oh saved! They do! Options are….chicken wings, chicken quesadillas, nachos, chips and salsa, burger, etc. Pretty much just typical late night bar food. So you decide to go with chips and salsa I guess. (What would honestly be the healthiest choice of the above mentioned?) So you munch on your chips and salsa for another 30 mins, all the while not drinking anything (don't forget, not allowed to drink while eating…tisk tisk). So the date continues, and after a bit at the bar, you each decide to call it a very lovely evening. Kiss, go to your separate homes and live happily ever after. Lol.

So here's the issue. If you're going to start dating someone new post surgery, do you explain before, during, after the date about the surgery? If the first date, turns into a second, and then a third, and fourth and so on, he will eventually become suspect of your odd eating habits. Perhaps those in America who had the lap band surgery don't have a meal plan similar to the one I'm on. When I reach the solid food stage I have a meal plan that my doc wishes to keep me on, for the rest of my life!!!!!! In this plan, I have to eat 6-7 times over the course of the day eating every 3 hrs. Many nutritionists in America recommend eating 5-6 times a day anyway. So hopefully the difference will go unnoticed. But I do wonder if someone was on a meal plan like mine, and was in the dating pool, how they would handle the situation. At what point do you explain to your suitor that you've had weight loss surgery?

I hope these are questions I never have to personally answer. Lol. Thankfully my boyfriend knows all, and doesn't seem to mind. But not everyone out there having these surgeries is in committed relationships. So if you're single and banded, how do you handle the subject with prospective partners?

3 weeks down!

Written Wednesday July 7, 2010**(See note below)

So I've reached the halfway point on my journey to real food since surgery!

It's been a long and windy road so far. I've had a few emotional breakdowns over the last week or two where I have come to really hate the liquid diet stage!!! Thankfully I only have one more week of liquid and then I get to move on to puree!!! Score! Then on that stage for 2 weeks and once that's done….REAL FOOD!!!!

So here's the deets! Current weight as of 5 mins ago 117.5 kg (259 lbs). Here's the kicker though. On Monday when I weighed myself it was at 116.4. So I have gained a kg (approx. 2 lbs) in the last 2 days. Not quite sure how I did that. But oh well. And I've even been getting in like 7 or 8 of the suggested 9 meals. What I have noticed is over the last week I've kind of stopped recording my food intake on Excel. So maybe I need to get back to doing that to see if I truly am getting enough calories and proteins as I should be. Here's to hoping my last week on liquids goes a bit better.

Total weight loss as of today…slightly over 8 kgs (approx. 18 lbs).

**This blog was written on MSWord and published online at a later date due to lack of internet thanks to moving. J

The Liquid Stage

When my father had the lap band procedure done back in America about 3 years ago he had to do liquids for 1-2 months, and ate several meals a day. But his diet was definitely different than mine! When I asked my surgeon about the meal plan, and the differences, he said that its not a universal plan. Each hospital (and doctor) had their own ideas on what's the best path. So here is the breakdown of the path I'm on.

I have to eat 9 meals a day, every 2 hrs. Each meal consists of approximately 2 deciliters (or 1 cup) of liquid. At no point did I have to do a clear liquid stage. Day after surgery I was supposed to consume 1600 ml of food. So straight from the word go I was going to be eating a lot the entire day!!!

As far as calories and proteins go… I was told the most important was to get in all the meals, and to get at least 60-70 grams of protein. More is better in this case. My nutritionist said the calories aren't so important and didn't give me a number to stay around. A couple days after being released from the hospital though I spoke to her on the phone as a follow up and told her about how I'd been eating the last few days. You see, I decided to make up an excel document and record my food eating schedule and estimates of calories and proteins. First full day home from the hospital and I ate almost 100 grams of proteins and about 1200 calories. That seemed like an awful lot for a weight loss surgery that so drastically reduced the size of my stomach to ensure quick fullness and reduced eating. So when I told my nutritionist all about this, she told me that 1200 calories was the estimated amount that they had on file using the suggested meal plan they gave me when I left the hospital. So I guess I'm doing good then!!

However, when I go to forum websites like Lap Band Talk and see threads where countless people mention that they are between 500-800 calories a day, I can't help but feel like what the hell is up with the food plan I'm on! That being said, I've 12 lbs in the first week after surgery. So I guess the diet can't be too wrong right?

So here is an idea of how I eat each day during this oh so fun liquid diet stage.

Time	Meal	Food	Calories	Proteins (g)
8:00	Breakfast	Sour Milk (Fil)	110	7
10:00	VLCD	Smoothie + Protein Powder	200	25
12:00	Lunch	Soup + Cottage Cheese	185	6.5
14:00	VLCD	Smoothie + PP	200	25
16:00	Drink snack	Tea, Juice, Vatter, etc	0	0
18:00	Dinner	Soup	140	3
20:00	VLCD	Smoothie + PP	200	25
22:00	Snack	Yogurt	120	7
24:00	Snack	Milk	80	6.8
Totals			1235	105.3

VLCD = Very Low Calorie Drink (i.e. Slimfast)

Now this is high for me on a day to day basis. I find it really hard to get in all of these meals. I decided to not buy the special powdered meal replacement drinks for my VLCD's, and have instead been making my own homemade smoothies with fresh fruits and .5% fat yogurt and protein powders. That really helps me to meet my protein requirements and get my calories up.

You might be looking at the table thinking "Holy crap that's a lot of dairy!" Well I was told I have to have at least 500 ml of diary a day to get the needed calcium and stuff. I love milk, so it's not that big of a deal. But I have felt rather overwhelmed by it as of late, so I like to replace one of the non VLCD snack times with another small bowl of soup. I feel like between the yogurt, fil, and smoothies, I'm getting a lot of sugar and not enough of the hearty salty balance from only 2 soup meals out of 9 meals. So I don't usually make those high of numbers. My numbers are usually around 1000 cal and 80 g of protein these days.

Oh, I should also note, that all of this is smooth consistency. No lumps. No chunks of meat or veg in the soup or fruit in the smoothies or yogurt. After 4 weeks of post op liquid stage I get to move onto pureed. Yum!

So there is the breakdown of how my daily meals go. Aren't you jealous?

So far, so good...sorta

So it's Monday, 6 days since surgery (5 if you don't count day of surgery).  So far things are going alright.  This is definitely a lot stranger of a feeling then I anticipated.

Weight as of today! 120.2 kg (265 lbs).  So I am down nearly 9 lbs since the day of surgery, and 12 lbs from my highest weight!  Pretty amazing huh?  I'm excited!!

I will say this though, this isn't easy!  I thought I was prepared.  I thought I had done tons of research and was totally ready for this.  But it seems as though that was an err in judgement.  For starters, the diet here is completely different than what my father and those in the states are likely doing.  For that matter, I was told several different things about my diet while I was in the hospital from the medical personnel.  So its taken a few days to figure out who was right and what to do.

The diet I'm on currently has me drinking 2 dl (approx 1 c) of liquid food every 2 hrs.  I'm supposed to take no more than 40 mins to eat this (however it takes me in reality an hr or more).  So I essentially feel like I'm eating allllllllllllll the time.  Probably because I am.  I think all the meals add up to 9 meals a day.  Thank god I'm not lactose intolerant either.  At least half of my meals consist of milk, yogurt, sour milk, or something along those lines.  The rest are things like juice and soup.  Yum!  Aren't you jealous?  I figured with all the soup recipes out there that I'd have no problem with this.  But since I only eat soup 2 out of 9 meals of the day, I find soup isn't the issue.  I'm sick to death of yogurt and smoothies and thing like that.  And I LOVE milk, but man what I'd give to eat a salad or bite into a piece of chicken!!!

While I was in the hospital I wasn't really having much of an issue with cravings or wanting to eat solids.  Even when I was sitting up in the patient lounge area at like 4 in the morning with the night nurse and she had chocolate bars and yogurt and honey dew out on the table I wasn't the least bit phased.  She even said to me it wasn't good for me to sit there with those things in front of me.  And it really didn't bother me.  I wasn't interested.  I really just wanted to read my magazine and go to sleep.  Since being home I find I can't really be in the same room as my boyfriend when he's eating.  Especially if it's something like rice (which is my favorite) or a pizza (which god I miss).  Just smelling it, and I feel this urge to say SCREW IT and bite into it.  Of course, greater sense prevails and I just walk away and eat my yogurt.  lol.  So it's a bit of a work.

It also feels as though time is going by slower now.  Usually the days fly by and before you know it's Christmas or something like that.  Now I'm thinking, good god I have 4 more weeks of this crap?!?!  It feels like i've been eating like this for weeks.  When in reality, it's only been days!  Perhaps it's like when people first go into rehab, and the first few days are like torture but by the end of their 30 days what once seemed impossible now seems totally doable.  I never really thought of myself as a food addict though.  

Maybe i'm just a solid food addict?

Home at last!!

After spending 3 days and 2 night in the hospital for my gastric lap band surgery, I am finally home!!!  And it's been a very interesting ordeal, to say the least!!  This post will be a long one, with pics (perhaps a little gross)...so read on with caution.

The story....

Got to the hospital on time at 7 am on Wed.  My surgery was scheduled for 7:40.  So at 7:30 I was walked from pre-op room into the surgery suite where they were going to slice and dice me.  They decided to hold off on anaesthesia until last minute possible to ensure the least risk of complications.  The surgical staff was super nice and I had a great time with them all.  Lots of jokes and goods time.  So fast forward to me in being in the recovery room.  Oh yeah, lets talk about some pain.  Thankfully though the recovery team did their best to manage it by giving me regular morphine injections.  The big problem was when I had to go to the bathroom and I needed to get out of the bed.  You see, the port was put like and inch or two below my boobs by the breast bone area.  And apparently the port was slightly tilted so it was rubbing up against the muscle in my left breast.  So every time I moved a certain way I felt a very sharp pain through the left side of my chest.  Shortly after I  managed to go to the potty, they decided to move me upstairs to my home for the next couple days.  This all went down at about 3 pm on Wednesday.

I get up to my room, and I share it with 2 elderly women.  My sambo was waiting for me and we spent some time together before he had to head home.  That day was mostly a blur spent getting morphine shots every 2-3 hrs.  I didn't sleep too well.  Usually waking up after 45 mins to an hr of sleep.  I couldn't get comfy in the bed because of my back.  So I'd try sitting up in the "day lounge" and that didn't last long because it hurt my chest and stomach (the incision areas).  So I went back and forth a lot.  Good thing was I was doing plenty of walking like they wanted.  :)  (Pic Left: Me first afternoon the afternoon, looking a bit drugged up and in pain)

So I finally get to sleep at like 3 am, and at about 4 am, one of the women I share the room with starts sleep walking or something, and woke me up.  First she takes one of the tables for visitors and uses it as a walker as she walks next to my bed.  Then she starts grabbing and yanking on the curtain around my bed, pauses starts urinating in front of my bed and then walks to the bathroom....leaving a trail.  So I end up getting up and letting the night nurses know what happened and they came in to clean up.  So I go back to dozing for 45 mins-1 hr at a time until about 8 am on Thurs when the morning nurses wake me up

The morning nurses tell me they hope to discharge me at 2 pm that day.  So, of course I'm freaking out since I had always been told I'd spend 2 nights in the hospital, so my boyfriend took Friday off instead of Thurs.  But thankfully his boss ended up giving him Thurs off too.  BUT! I ended up not going home on Thurs!  Why you ask!?!  Well.  Turns out there were a few communication issues.  The nurses call everything gastric (banding and bypass).  But the post op instructions and diets are different between the two.  And the nurses had me on the bypass meal plan.  Which involved 500 ml of liquid, spread out over 4 meals 4 hrs apart.  I was supposed to be on 1600 ml, spread over 8 meals every 2 hrs!!  So the doc decided I hadn't been eating enough liquids, so had to stay another day.  But that wasn't the only reason.

When the morning nurses woke me up they gave me 2 dl of yogurt to eat.  Swedish yogurt is nothing like American yogurt!  Much more sour and bitter.  Needless to say I wasn't the biggest fan.  After about 4 teaspoon fulls I started experiencing a lot of pain in the center of my chest.  So the doc ordered an "x-ray" (which really was a contrast catscan).  Turned out all the gas they put in my stomach and chest during the op, had moved into my intestines and was stuck since my bowels weren't functioning at the moment.  So I was having trouble getting the liquids down.  By the end of the night I was able to eat the 2 dl of food within the recommended 40 mins.  Which was a vast improvement from the 2 hrs it took me to drink a low calorie 2 dl diet shake earlier in the day.

By mid-day of day 2 they cut me off the morphine and gave me pills to take.  Which wasn't so bad.  And by the end of Thurs I felt like I was well enough to go home.  But alas, had to stay till Friday morning.  So immediately after rounds on Friday morning doc told me I was free to go!!  Woohoo!!!!  So  by 1 pm, my boyfriend arrived at the hospital to take me home!!!!!

(My hospital bed and home for 3 days.)

The technical...

Hospital admittance weight: 124.5 kg (274.5 lb)

Day 2 (Thurs) weight: 125.3 (276.2 lb)

Day 3 (Friday) weight: 123.1 (271.4 lb)

The was able to do the surgery via laproscopic.  So instead of having a large cut down the middle, I have 5 smaller ones.  He was able to slip the band on and upon review of the catscan the following day it showed that there was no leaking or complications!  The plan is to fill the band little by little every other month up to 6 times (so up to over the next 1 year).  The port is just above the big circular red bandage in the center of my body.  All my incisions have been sealed via staples.  Which I will go back on Wed June 30 (exactly 2 weeks after surgery) to have the staples removed.  

Doc says I should lose like 10 kg during the liquid stage, then gain back most of it when I start eating food again.  Then when they fill my band some more in 2 months I should steadily lose ½ kg a week.  Which is only 2 kg a month!!!  I'm hoping to double if not triple that number!  

My feelings/thoughts...

Well....the nursing staff was great!  Yes there were a few mistakes made.  And I did feel things were a bit chaotic on Thurs, but no matter what, everyone did their best to give me what I needed.  Whether that was drugs or someone to talk to about my concerns.  No matter what was going on, everyone at the hospital had a pleasant attitude and made a stressful situation much more manageable!  

While there I made friends with 2 other patients.  1 is a super sweet woman from the UK who was in a wicked car accident (but she's making a speedy recovery).  The other patient was a local swede who had the gastric bypass the day before done by the same surgeon.  She is also really sweet!  I look forward to hopefully connecting with her and perhaps we can lean on each other throughout this adventure we are both embarking on.  

So all in all.  I think it was totally worth while!  I'm happy with my decision to do this.  I know the liquid diet will be rough, but I find it's a lot easier to deal with mentally then I thought.  My stomach doesn't want to have much more then a dl or 2 of food at a time.  And I've had the pleasure of trying some really tasty VLCD (very low calorie drinks) and soups by Modifast.  Plus I have my stock of soups and smoothies I've been making at home.  So I'm totally stoked for it all!  Just looking forward to the weight loss now!

Left: 2 of the wonderful nurses who took care of me...and me. (L-R: Anna, Eva, FXA)

Right: T-Shirt I rocked in the hospital.  Should get one that says Next Skinny Thing.

End of the era...hopefully.

It's the eve of my life altering surgery.  After tomorrow I will have an itty bitty stomach sack there in by making food consumption limited!  Woohoo...wait is that the correct response?  Hmm, I think so.  Soon followed by "WTF" and "What am I getting myself into?"

I decided to take some before pics.  To document the journey.  Please be gentle with the comments.  It's not easy to put yourself out there.  My very first post has the starting stats.

Latest weight update.  I'm now down to 123.4 kg (272 lbs).  So I lost a wee bit of weight.  :)  That number was as of Sunday evening.  I have not weighed myself since.

Here comes the slide show of the before pics.

Again, please be gentle with the comments.  It's a before surgery picture.  It's meant to show me not at my finest.  Please excuse the paint stained pants.  These are my lounging pants as most of my wardrobe is packed either in hospital bag or luggage since we are moving shortly after I leave the hospital.

Pre-surgery mental update:  Well I just ate some tomato soup and all I could think was this was going to be my last meal with the stomach I have now.  From tomorrow on, eating will be a different experience.  I find I'm not so frantic and freaked today.  I suppose spending the afternoon at the zoo watching all the cute animals helped to de-stress.  But yeah, I feel alright.  Technically I can still turn back, but if I've held out this long, I'm going all the way!  So I'm excited and eager and ready for what's to come.  I hope everything goes well at the hospital.

When I finally get released and am up for it at home I'll be sure to post more about how things transpire over the next few days.

Wish me luck!!

-FXA

Oh my anxiousness!

It's 21:20 in the evening here in Sweden.  So of course the sun is shining brightly.  Strange isn't it?  Well anyway. I've got less then 36 hrs to go until I need to be at the hospital for my surgery.

I have been stressed for weeks about everything, but I think today is the start of a mental states of anxiousness, that I fully expect to last until say Wed afternoon.  Today I had some personal things to take care of, and then came home hung out with my honey for a bit and then decided to pack up like 90% of my wardrobe (since we are moving next weekend) as well as my hospital bag.  Now I'm sitting here and feeling a bit nuts.  Now I'm thinking okay what else can I do!??!

I want to make another pot of soup, but I've run out of room in our little bitty fridge/freezer for any more soups.  I would like to pack more, but there's not much else to pack (for me to do at least...got to leave some work for my man to take care of).  There isn't really crap on tv that I want to watch, but my boyfriend found some crap to watch so I can't play video games.  So you see, I'm sitting here thinking okay, what the hell am I going to do now? Which leaves me to my own devices, namely my neurotic mind.  Oh the drama!!

It doesn't help any that I'm having second thoughts!  Yesterday, after days of perpetually feeling hungry, I broke down and had my boyfriend go get a pre-marinaded chicken to bake in the oven and eat with some rice.  Awful isn't it?! Can we say FAILED!!!  I know, I know!  I just couldn't help it.  I couldn't stand the idea of eating another bowl of soup.  Which got me thinking about the surgery and the diet afterwards.  How the hell am I supposed to do this for like 4-6 weeks!!!  Insanity!  I'm hoping the big difference is the whole size of the stomach business.  Maybe when I have a barbie sized stomach I won't mind imbibing only liquids.

Am I really ready for all that I am about to have to embark upon!?!?  Sink or swim time!

-FXA

To tell or not to tell, that is the question

With my surgery date quickly approaching I find myself wondering. Do I or don't I, tell? Its one thing to put a blog up on the internet for the world (of strangers) to view it; it's another to tell your family and friends that your weight has become such an issue for you that you are resorting to surgery to do something about it. It reminds me of back in the day when online dating first started and if you said I met my boyfriend online people would think you were nuts or something. It kind of feels like there is a stigma with telling people I'm having weight loss surgery. Maybe it's all in my head, but I haven't fully come to terms yet with advertising to those closest to me what is going on.

That being said I have given a small group of people the direct link to this blog. With those people I feel most comfortable sharing the journey I'm about to embark on. And some I have said nothing. For example, my boyfriends mom is totally in the loop with everything and has even to help with getting me to and from the hospital. My boyfriend's dad, however, is on a very strict need to know basis. He knows I've got surgery, but has no clue what for. It's not a gender thing, but rather a comfort thing. It took nearly 7 months for me to tell my boyfriend's mom that I was having this surgery in the first place. So these conversations aren't coming easy for me.

I suppose it's that I feel maybe they will look down on me or think poorly of me for doing this. Like perhaps a small part of me is actually ashamed of what I'm doing. I suppose it's because I'm going the surgery route rather than doing the Biggest Loser or something. Hahaha.

So now I find myself thinking…should I tell people, and if so when? My original game plan was to wait and see how well the surgery worked, and if people said "Wow you look great, what have you been doing?!....Have you lost weight?!" Then I could come forward and say I had the surgery. Hehe.

-FXA

Week 2 update on food and diet

As of today, the weight is at 124.4 kg (274.2 lbs).  Starting tonight/tomorrow there will be no more proper meals or major solid foods.  As far as meat goes it's going to be boiled chicken, turkey, and tuna fish.  I've been eating a lot of soup and smoothies with protein powder lately to try and get my body used to it.  And I intend to make those things the main focus of my diet for the next 6 days until surgery.  I'll eat some things with substance such as tuna fish on knäckebröd (hard thin "bread"), soups with some chicken and veggie bits, and salads.

I'm not going to lie.  This is tough.  I have been eating mostly liquid kind of food for the last week for most of my daily meals.  And when it comes time to eat real food I'm like voracious.  But I do find I get fuller quicker.  So yeah for stomach shrinkage!!

I'm hoping the massive limiting of fatty stuff and what not is doing good things for my liver.  I read online a healthy liver is the best thing for a quick recovery from a surgery.  And I'm also doing this to prepare myself mentally for what is to come.  Plus I get a chance to taste all these soups I'm preparing to see if they are even worth storing in the freezer for in a few weeks.  lol.

With 6 days left till surgery, I'm definitely getting excited and anxious!  After my pre-op meetings we went to the grocery store to get this weeks groceries (mostly fresh veg and soups for me).  And I realized this was going to be my last time going grocery shopping before surgery!  Doc says I can keep eating regularly until day of surgery.  So today was my last chance to buy a big juicy steak or some other horribly unhealthy things.  lol.  And I did good.  Only bought healthy stuff.  But I did think about all the things I'd be missing for a while.

Breakdown one more time:  I haven't lost any weight yet.  I've been changing my eating habits, and as a result I already miss food!  lol.  But I'll get over it.  :) And I'm super excited!!

-FXA

Pre-op meetings today!

Just got home a short while ago from my pre-op meetings with the under surgeon (I guess that's like surgeon's assistant), the anaesthesiologist, the nurse, and the physical therapist.  After 4 hrs at the hospital I had about half my questions answered and I found out what time in the wee hrs of the morning I had to be at the hospital.  I don't really feel like I accomplished as much as I had hoped today.

First things first.  The deets on the surgery.  June 16, 2010 @ Nyköping Sjukhuset (Swedish for hospital).  I am to report for duty at 7 am sharp.  Did I mention I live about 1 hr 10 mins from the hospital?  Aren't I the lucky one!!  Surgeon is Per Lundqvist.  Getting the lap band done laproscopic.  And I should expect a hospital stay of 2-4 days.

Now onto today events!

Met with phys. therapist first.  She just gave me a flyer to show me how to get in and out of bed, and the necessity to move my feet and toes as fast as possible after surgery.  Then I started drilling her with questions about limitations and exercises for me to do one one leg or in bed/sitting since I have foot surgery on June 28th.  Should have seen her.  Poor woman.  She was seriously struggling to answer my questions.  I genuinely felt bad for her.  But I needed to know I could things beside sit in bed for the first few weeks after both surgeries.

Then went up to meet with the nurse.  She gave me the deets on the surgery, and I tried asking her a bunch of questions.  Some she attempted to answer, others she told me I'd have to ask someone else (usually either under surgeon or dietist).  But a series of questions came up that I thought were quite important.

Q: Is there any forms I need to fill out regarding my wishes pertaining to organ donorship, do not resuscitate, living will, consent to inform (about my condition), etc.?

A:  We don't have those things here.  Protocol is always to save life.  If you want something else we can put into your journal (electronic record of all my medical info). 

Q: Is my sambo (boyfriend) legally allowed to make medical decisions for me in case I become unable to? 

A: I'm not sure of the legality.  Ask the under surgeon (to which they had no clue either). 

 I asked tons of questions, but those were the ones I felt were most important and was a bit leery about the answers.

After that I moved onto the EKG, and then to the under surgeon.  The most exciting thing that happened there was when the woman asked about diseases and allergies, and I told her about celiac's and gluten (which I also mentioned to the nurse and filled out in my pre-op general health survey paperwork).  Her response was simply ok.  Which I then stipulated that all medications must be checked first and foremost that they are GF (gluten free) before administering or prescribing. She gave me a stunned look.  So then I explained to her what happened last month when the ER doc prescribed me some meds that had wheat starch in them.  Which I didn't discover until I got to the pharmacy and was filling my script and asked the pharmacist to double check they were safe.  Upon inspection we found that the original script was not GF nor was a similar med from another manufacturer.  I ended up having to go back to the ER and wait 5 hrs to meet with another doctor just to find out that besides those 2 pills there was no other option for me.  So no medicine for me!  That part didn't bother me so much as the massive waste of my time.  Anyway.  So then the under surgeon goes "Oh I hadn't even thought of that!!  I'll make a note in your journal"

Next and last stop, the anaesthesiologist.  Same set of questions from him as the previous people.  And just told me that I'd be getting knocked out with general anaesthesia and would be groggy and not feeling so hot the first day.

So there's the excitement of my day in a nutshell.  I was a bit bummed I didn't meet with the dietist as I have a ton of questions.  I meet with them after the surgery while still in the hospital.  But the nurse did her best to answer some of my food related questions regarding food consistency and stuff. I would have liked to meet with my actual surgeon to discuss a few things about the procedure with him that I hadn't thought to ask during the consultation 9 months ago, but alas, that didn't happen either.  Oh well.

Now, those of you reading this back in the states are probably thinking I'm nuts to go into a surgery without filling out a million forms and what not.  But that's just the way things are here.  It's very centralized.  All my info is put on the computer.  Only the docs can view it, with my permission.  And I'm guessing the lack of CYA paperwork is because malpractice and major medical disasters aren't really a big issue here.  Haven't heard too many stories of a doc cutting off the wrong appendage or anything yet.  And the surgeon doing my surgery did the bypass for someone I know and she is very pleased with the results.  So I'm not that worried. My biggest concern is with the medication.  Making sure it is safe for me.  :)  And of course how to pass the time when I'm stuck in the hospital for a few days.  Too far away for friends and Nick's family to really come and visit me.  But oh well.  Got to pay some kind of price right?

-FXA

 

And so it begins!

I thought I would try and answer some questions that some of you may be wondering.  If I have not covered it here, by all means ask.  :)

Why did I choose the lap band?  Well bypass is far too extreme in my opinion.  I like the idea of the lap band being a tool to help me on my journey!  Not a fix it all solution!  I have been working with a nutritionist for the last year to change my mind set and eating habits.  I'm not a huge candy or junk food eater.  My problems have always been I didn't eat breakfast, and I like to eat big dinners.  And rice, that's my biggest downfall in life.  Mmm..rice!! Anyway.  With the lap band, I'll still be allowed to eat things (granted in little bitty portions), and I don't mean I can still eat crap!  But the lap band can be adjusted to what suits me where I'm at in life.  And if there is any complications or problems, it can easily be reversed.

What am I feeling now? Oh boy!  What am I not feeling is probably a more appropriate question!  My emotions have run the gamut.  I thought once I finally got my surgery date I would be thrilled and excited to wear a bathing suit next summer.  Ha!  If only it were that simple.  I think in the last 2 weeks I have probably gone through every emotion known to man.  My poor boyfriend must think I'm clinically insane!  I mean seriously coo coo for cocoa puffs nuts!  But as the dates is getting closer, I'm finding the worries, concerns, doubts, hesitations, etc have fallen by the wayside, and now I'm just coming to terms with what is it come.  :)

How did I go about getting this surgery in Sweden?  Well here in Sweden weight loss surgeries are covered under the government health care.  So it's free or close to it.  After you have spent X amt of money (900 SEK = 125 USD give or take) on medical visits here per year you get a free health care card.  Which I have for the remainder of the year.  So first, it's free!  Score!  How'd I get to this point?  Well that's been a bit of a journey.  Feb 2009 I met with a doc at our local vårdcentral (it's like a doc office).  And I told him I was interested in the surgery.  He would then refer me to the surgeon and I would go on their waiting list for an appt.  Well, in our lan (it's like a state I suppose), there is only one hospital that does the surgery.  This hospital is about 1 hr away.  And there is only one doc who does the lap band laproscopic style and he doesn't work at the hospital full time.  He splits his time between that hospital and Stockholm (about 1 hr 15 min away).  So the doc I met in Feb, seemed to not really understand my request (as he didn't speak much English and I didn't speak much Swedish).  So he never put the request in.  Which I didn't find out until like June.  So in June I went back to the docs for another medical ailment, and asked about the request (different doc this time by the way).  And so he put in the request.  Now!  In Sweden, practically the whole country goes on vacation from like July-August.  So it's virtually impossible for anything to move faster then a snails pace.  So I got my appt with the surgeon on Oct 19, 2009. We chatted about life, interest, yadda yadda yadda.  And then he said he'd do the surgery.  So I went onto another waiting list, for surgery.  He told me 4-6 months.  But his nurse said more like 6 months.  So come Jan 2010 I call to see if there is any news since we were planning on a vacation in Feb/March.  Well I was told it would likely be end of March or April, and to call back in the beginning of March to find out more.  So I called in March, was told it was now May/June, because of some staffing issues.  So then I call back end of May and BAM! Surgery date! Scheduled for June 16.  Woohoo!!!!  Time to do the jig!

So it's been a bit of a process...but hey, it free!  And in the states insurance companies often make you wait a long time too.  Plus there were a few hiccups a long the way with communication and holidays and what not.  But at least it's finally getting done!

Do I need to do a special diet before the surgery? According to my doctor, no.  I have decided to start integrating homemade smoothies with protien powder as well as soups and other oh so tasty liquid meals into my diet.  And one week before surgery I am going to attempt to go on a soft diet.  I'll still eat things like canned tuna and perhaps salads.  But the idea I'm going for is shrinking the stomach some, as well as going high protein and lower in fat to make sure my liver is nice and healthy.

Do I have concerns about the diet after surgery?  YES!  Not only do I have to completely change my diet for this, but I also have celiac's disease (gluten-intolerant).  So when I can start eating real food again, I still have to be extra careful with things like gluten-free breads and pastas and what not.  And part of my disease is I consume any gluten it affects my body's ability to absorb nutrients and vitamins and all the good stuff your body needs to function.  So it'll be a bit of a juggling act for me.  But I'm ready for it!  :) 

Is there any food I think I'll miss?  Well I have read that steak/beef in general becomes a bit of a no-no after surgery.  I am a meat eater.  Like seriously!  My boyfriend and I think I was like a lion or a t-rex or something in a past lifetime.  lol.  Most women crave chocolate, I tend to crave meat.  We always keep lunchmeat in the house for those afternoon snacks when I just want a piece of meat.  Freaky, I know, right?  Well, being an American, I do love a nice juicy ribeye.  Which last week I went out to dinner here in Sweden to eat and say goodbye too.  Now, in all honesty, it had been like 2 years since I had a steak before then anyway.  So I think i'll miss it, but not as much as I'd miss rice, if I couldn't have that again (you might as well just shoot me then).  But in the winter I do love beef stew.  And I have recently taken a liking to elk and moose roasts.  Hey, I live in Sweden!  That's totally normal here!  But yeah, I think i'll miss food like that the most.  

And that's all I have for now.  :)  If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask.  :)

-FXA