Dating while banded

While I'm not currently on the dating scene, as I live with my boyfriend of over 2 years, I got to thinking. How does one go on dates when they have been banded or some other wls.

Picture the scenario. You meet a guy in a college classroom, or at a bar or wherever people seem to meet people. It's been say 6 months since your surgery and you're on solid foods, and have already lost let's say 50 lbs. You and the mystery person have a wonderful chat, decide to exchange number. Within the next couple days he calls and asks if you would like to get together for dinner on Friday night. First big decision….would you want your first date with someone new to be someplace involving food where you will quite obviously be restricted with eating. So let's say you decide to go ahead with dinner.

Fast forward to Friday evening and its date night. You're already a basket of nerves as is typical for first dates. Then you get to the restaurant, sit down, look at the menu and oh shit! What are you going to order? And does it come in children's portion, as you can't actually eat a full size portion. Steak is most likely out of the question, can go for some kind of chicken or fish dish, or you could play it extra safe and get salad. Then you have to think," gee, I hope this date doesn't take more than 3 hrs because then I have to eat again." (Or at least that's how my solid food diet goes…should I ever freaking get to that point).

So you decide to order some kind of grilled chicken with veggies and a baked potato dish. You decide against asking if it can be made into a kiddie portion figuring that will only garner more questions and confused looks. During dinner you take tiny bites, chew forever, and take a very long time to eat maybe ¼ of the food that is actually on the plate, and then say "Ah, that was delicious, I'm stuffed." At which point your date looks across the table and see's you have barely touched your food and quite possibly thinks to himself "oh god, it's one of those types that is practically anorexic and is obsessed with not eating too much". Well he'd be half right (at least I know I'm obsessed about what I'm eating since surgery). At this point he might actually say something like "Oh you don't seem very hungry, did you have a meal before our date" or some silly question along those lines. In which case, you can choose to explain why your limited with food intake.

For the sake of this blog, we'll say he silently acknowledged the very small meal you had for dinner, and then decided to not think too much of it. You guys had a great time during dinner, so then he asks if you're in a rush to get home or if you'd like to continue the evening, by moving on to a bar or a movie or some late night option. At which time you are internally jumping for glee that this stud of a man is having a great time and doesn't want the date to end either!! (This is of course based on the assumption that you like him as well and are having a great time).

Off you go to a bar. Where you can't drink too much now! All those empty calories, but hey, it's a special occasion! Live a little!! But you still can't drink too much because you will likely end up getting trashed and trashed on the first date isn't so sexy. So you nurse your first drink. Then nurse your second. Next thing you know….it's meal time again! Crap!! What to do, what do do?? Hmm, well you didn't eat much at dinner, so maybe he won't be surprised if you're hungry again. Any normal person would be after that tiny meal. So you ask the bartender if they serve food. Oh saved! They do! Options are….chicken wings, chicken quesadillas, nachos, chips and salsa, burger, etc. Pretty much just typical late night bar food. So you decide to go with chips and salsa I guess. (What would honestly be the healthiest choice of the above mentioned?) So you munch on your chips and salsa for another 30 mins, all the while not drinking anything (don't forget, not allowed to drink while eating…tisk tisk). So the date continues, and after a bit at the bar, you each decide to call it a very lovely evening. Kiss, go to your separate homes and live happily ever after. Lol.

So here's the issue. If you're going to start dating someone new post surgery, do you explain before, during, after the date about the surgery? If the first date, turns into a second, and then a third, and fourth and so on, he will eventually become suspect of your odd eating habits. Perhaps those in America who had the lap band surgery don't have a meal plan similar to the one I'm on. When I reach the solid food stage I have a meal plan that my doc wishes to keep me on, for the rest of my life!!!!!! In this plan, I have to eat 6-7 times over the course of the day eating every 3 hrs. Many nutritionists in America recommend eating 5-6 times a day anyway. So hopefully the difference will go unnoticed. But I do wonder if someone was on a meal plan like mine, and was in the dating pool, how they would handle the situation. At what point do you explain to your suitor that you've had weight loss surgery?

I hope these are questions I never have to personally answer. Lol. Thankfully my boyfriend knows all, and doesn't seem to mind. But not everyone out there having these surgeries is in committed relationships. So if you're single and banded, how do you handle the subject with prospective partners?