Week 10 Update

I really need to do more then weekly updates huh?  I'm working on it.  It's been a crazy 2 weeks.  But lets get down to business.

Stats first:
Current Weight:  113.9 kg (251 lbs)
Total Weightloss:  11.5 kg (25 lbs)

Here's what's been different the last 2 weeks.  First after I posted last week we bought some new furniture and I had to help my boyfriend move it.  It was all flat packed (so in boxes), but didn't make it any lighter!!  Our sideboard (aka buffet for dinning room) was listed at 85 kg (187 lb).  So yeah, me and my boyfriend carried it up a flight of stairs.  So not only did I have to lift it, but I had to haul it up some stairs!!  Can you say work out?  Plus I spent 3 days cleaning, vacuuming and mopping.  More work out.  This week has been much of the running around kind of stuff as well.  And I started using a little stepper machine thing my boyfriends mom gave me.  Holy crap am I out of shape!!!  After 5 mins on that thing my legs were burning!!

As far as diet goes, not so good.  I'm eating about 5 or 6 times a day, and I'm getting in the amt of dairy I'm supposed to take in.  But I have been eating rice for lunch and dinner as my carb.  Not so good!!  But that's because we ordered chinese this weekend for my "free day(s)" and well I had left overs.  Also, last weekend I had candy for the first time.  Which I will write about in the next blog.

I did however call my surgical nurse in Nyköping yesterday morning to let her know that I was unhappy with the fact that I still feel hungry a lot of the time, and that I feel like i'm able to eat more then I should.  At that time I hadn't been on the scale yet, so I thought I wasn't losing weight, so I told her that too.  Hahaha.  Ooops.  So she moved up my next fill date from end of Sept to Sept 7.  :)  Here's to hoping next fill does a better job at making me less hungry all the time.

So to lose this weight in spite of any and all bad habits over the last week makes me quite happy.  It's not a 5 lb drop, but hey, at least numbers are moving again...and in the right direction!!

Week 9 Update

Not much to report.  I had my band filled last week, it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.  I still feel hungry after most "meals".  I'm still not really losing weight.  I think what little difference in weight between this week and last is due to sheer loss of sweat!  I have been working my tail off cleaning and moving things around the apartment.  

So on to the update.

Current weight: 114.9 kg (253.3 lb)

Total weight loss: 10.5 kg (23.15 lb)

So I guess it's not too bad for 9 weeks.  But I do feel like I went through that surgery and 6 weeks of hell just to lose like 10 kg.  Which doesn't make me a happy camper.

I guess on the plus side, the doc last week said my goal should be to weigh about 85 kg (187 lb).  So I'm only 30 kg away from that goal.  She says that will give me a BMI of 30.  I personally think my BMI should be around 24.  So I'm probably going to lean more towards a final weight of 65-70 kg.  

Originally my goal was 58 kg (128 lbs).  But the doc said I'll likely never get to that weight and if I did I would probably look rather sickly.  So I'm going to go with like 67 as the final goal.  

My first goal is to be in a size 46 (14 in the US) by Christmas.  Which will hopefully mean somewhere around 90 kg.  

So we shall see how the next few months unfold! 

I blame my mother

I know your likely reading this mom, so please try not to freak out too much.

But I blame my mother for what happened at dinner tonight.  I went out tonight to hang out with my "in-laws" and we ended up at an italian restaurant for dinner.  Thankfully this italian restaurant knows about gluten, so I am always able to eat there.  However, this is the first real restaurant I went to post surgery.  Technically it was time for me to eat my afternoon snack, not dinner.  But you got to improvise ya know?

Well I ordered a salad with parma ham and gorgonzola cheese.  I actually ordered the 1/2 portion.  Which is still quite sizable.  I spent about 40 mins picking away at this thing.  Why did I keep going for so long?  Because my mother drilled it into me I had to clear my plate!!  Yup! I'm sure most of you got the same deal from your parents.  "Can't leave the table till you clear that plate....including those peas!"

So I sat there nibbling away little by little.  I didn't quite eat the whole thing.  I'm sorry, but I failed your lesson, mom.  I gave it a valiant effort though.  Here's the thing though, I was about 1/2-3/4 the way done and could tell I was full.  But I figured give it time, let the little pouch empty out and then finish.  Yup, I know stupid.  But I must clear the plate!

I don't even think this is a conscious thing.  I think it just happens.  It's quite frustrating.  More so when the food tastes delicious (as this one did).  Almost seems like a waste to let such tasty (and expensive) food go to waste.

I'm wondering, as I go through life, how am I going to break myself of this?  I can't always clear the plate.  Especially when dining out.  I can't tell them to fix me a plate of food that is 1dl meat, 1 dl carbs, 1/2 dl veg, and 1/2 dl sauce or extras.  That's just not going to fly.  Lately what I've been doing is putting my food on the small plates we have that are meant for like tea and cookies.  And using the small bowls for snacks instead of dinner bowls.  It makes it a bit easier.  I get the sense of cleaning off my plate as well as eating a full meal, rather then nibbling on tiny portions.

Just not sure what to do about dining out.  I can't stand throwing away perfectly good food.  There are kids starving in Africa ya know!  (I know you heard that one growing up too!)

Week 8 update

Seriously!?!?  Are you freaking kidding me!?!  Anyone want to guess what happened this week?  Nothing!  Didn't lose a single pound.  Nothing in 4 weeks.  Aren't I the happy camper!

So yesterday, I went to Nyköping to visit one of the doctors in the department for my 8 week post op follow up appointment.  I told her about my lack of weight loss, so she agreed I needed my band adjusted and she filled it with 3 ml.  I'm not sure what that is in cc's.  Here's the thing though, it hurt like a son of a b!tch.  I was laying there with my arms over my head, holding the nurses hand (more like crushing it), and fighting the urge to jump off the table and run out.  The woman stuck a big hard thick needle (perhaps slight exaggeration, but whatever that's what it felt like) into my chest without any local anesthetic.  And of course, me being me, she had trouble finding the port.  She didn't have trouble when she was just pushing with her fingers before the needle part.  But once she stuck the needle in, she couldn't find the port.  So she was digging around and poking and again NOTHING TO HELP WITH PAIN.  Maybe I'm a pansy.  I'm extremely used to needles (not a drug addict), but I've had a lot of blood work and iv's over the years, so i'm used to being stuck.  But this was so not fun!  And to think, I get to do it again in 6 weeks.

Here's the funny part (or so my doctor thought), I was in pain and the nurse is like breath because well there is a needle in my chest and i'm terrified to take a breath in.  So i'm trying to breath but all I can manage is like little breaths like what women do in labor.  lol.  And then after about 3 mins of poking and stabbing and awful pain I suddenly drop the F-Bomb.  So what happens?  My doctor starts laughing.  She says something in swedish, and the nurse starts laughing, all while still poking me with a needle....in my chest (in case you haven't been following, my port is in my chest near my sternum).  I'm all kinds of confused, so then my doc explains...."Do people really say that in America?  I thought they only did that tv."  Hahahaha.

So after the torture session and comedy hour was over, she took a gander at my what used to be hole in my side and said it looked good and didn't need to wear bandaging anymore.  Score!  Only took a month and a half to heal!

The final result?  No weight change, and I got my band adjusted.

Food has been eh since.  I can eat, but last night I had trouble and got sick.  Had to just stick to liquids.  But today I was able to eat real food again.  We'll see if the adjustment makes a difference next week.  I don't have my hopes up.

Week 7 Update

Woohooo!!!!!  We have closure!!!  I just got back from the nurse at the vårdcentral.  It was time to change the bandage and remove the butterfly tape.  And not only am I no longer oozing puss, but it actually appears to be closing if not already closed.  Guess all I needed was antibiotics and surgical tape.  The doc at the er last week told me if I had been on antibiotics weeks earlier it probably would have closed already. Hmmm.

Wound as of today August 5.  Pretty much closed!

Now onto the not so wonderful news.  Still not really losing weight.  *sigh* I can't wait to go to the surgeon next week.  I'm hoping he's going to tighten the band.  I'm going to have to make a big stink about it I think.  We'll see.

Stat time!
Current weight: 115.4 kg (254.4)
Total weight loss: 10 kg (20.5 lbs) *This is more or less estimation

I guess this is good news, since the doctor told me I'd likely gain weight once I started eating real food.  And I haven't don't that yet.  But it hardly feels like good news to me.  I find I'm getting worried that I've done this surgery just to lose 10 kg.  Like I'm not really going to lose any more weight from here on out.  And that's disparaging.  I'm hoping if he tightens the band, then maybe i'll start losing again.  It was his hope to fill the band every other month.  So every 8 weeks, I go back to Nyköping and get my band tightened.  So perhaps that's the key to it all.  We shall see.

As far as food has gone.  I have more wonderful news (well, sorta wonderful).  I have successfully eaten rice and pasta!!  Woohoo!!!  I started to get scared for a bit there, from testimonials I had read online, that I wouldn't be able to eat rice again.  Which well would be the end of the world as I know it!!  I even got to eat chinese (beef with pineapple) this past weekend!  No complications!  I haven't found anything I can't eat yet.  But then again I haven't tried steak or whatever.

I gave myself a "free" day this past saturday.  We ordered chinese, and for desert I had about 1dl (slightly less then half a cup) of low fat old fashioned creamy ice cream and 1 little triangle of dark chocolate toblerone.  It was wonderful!!!  I haven't had any of that stuff in like 2 months.  So it was a wonderful little treat.

Well, that's the gist of what's been happening this week.  Tune in next week for my post-surgery doc visit update.  :)

-FXA