It's 21:20 in the evening here in Sweden. So of course the sun is shining brightly. Strange isn't it? Well anyway. I've got less then 36 hrs to go until I need to be at the hospital for my surgery.
I have been stressed for weeks about everything, but I think today is the start of a mental states of anxiousness, that I fully expect to last until say Wed afternoon. Today I had some personal things to take care of, and then came home hung out with my honey for a bit and then decided to pack up like 90% of my wardrobe (since we are moving next weekend) as well as my hospital bag. Now I'm sitting here and feeling a bit nuts. Now I'm thinking okay what else can I do!??!
I want to make another pot of soup, but I've run out of room in our little bitty fridge/freezer for any more soups. I would like to pack more, but there's not much else to pack (for me to do at least...got to leave some work for my man to take care of). There isn't really crap on tv that I want to watch, but my boyfriend found some crap to watch so I can't play video games. So you see, I'm sitting here thinking okay, what the hell am I going to do now? Which leaves me to my own devices, namely my neurotic mind. Oh the drama!!
It doesn't help any that I'm having second thoughts! Yesterday, after days of perpetually feeling hungry, I broke down and had my boyfriend go get a pre-marinaded chicken to bake in the oven and eat with some rice. Awful isn't it?! Can we say FAILED!!! I know, I know! I just couldn't help it. I couldn't stand the idea of eating another bowl of soup. Which got me thinking about the surgery and the diet afterwards. How the hell am I supposed to do this for like 4-6 weeks!!! Insanity! I'm hoping the big difference is the whole size of the stomach business. Maybe when I have a barbie sized stomach I won't mind imbibing only liquids.
Am I really ready for all that I am about to have to embark upon!?!? Sink or swim time!
-FXA
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